I hate running. I have anxiety attacks thinking about running. I'd rather slam my head into a brick wall than run. So why did I sign up for the Mud Run 5K, you might ask?
I'm blaming my sister, but deep down I knew I needed some sort of incentive to get my ass in shape. (Apparently a closet full of clothes that still don't fit my post-baby body wasn't torture enough.) So for the past couple months, I've been conquering the Couch to 5K program. Although I didn't have enough time to finish the entire program before the race, I thought I was at least going to be able to live through it.
The Eat Dirt Mud Run took place yesterday in Grand Rapids and we were signed up for the 11:00 heat. Our team consisted of myself, my sister, future brother-in-law, cousin and three mutual friends/former classmates. My cousin bailed on us last minute due to a migraine, but we're still going to pretend we're all mad at him, ok?
Us girls made shirts for everyone so we all looked super awesome in our custom, neon shirts and pink zebra print bandanas. To showcase my excitement for the race, I put "EFF RUNNING" on the back of my shirt. Because profanity was enough to get you booted from the course, just in case someone would question my shirt, "EFF" stood for "Everyone Finishes First" and we were a group running for a children's charity. ;)
As a first time Mud Run participant and someone who hasn't run a 5K since 2002, there were a few things I learned the hard way:
- Being able to run 3 miles doesn't mean shit when there are obstacles thrown in there.
- Mud makes your shoes weigh an extra 10 pounds.
- Cotton, drawstring shorts are the worse clothing choice you can make because after the first waist-deep mud pit you go through, those shorts now weigh a million pounds and no longer care about covering your buns. (Thank God I wore my vball spandex underneath because I dropped my drawers after the first mile and wore them around my neck the rest of the race.)
Overall, minus the fact that I was certain death was lurking behind each obstacle, I was glad I did it and had fun doing it with the group. I sacrificed myself for the good of the team and took up the caboose. I finished with a time of 00:36:24 and 1033rd overall. Since Ashley's bib number was #2497, I'm assuming that's how many total participants there were.
Plus you got chocolate milk after the race and who doesn't like chocolate milk?!