Wednesday, October 31, 2012

36 weeks + Halloween

As I watch all these adorable little children show up at my door begging for candy, it makes me kinda wish I would've "planned" my pregnancy a little better. I should've made it clear to husband that we needed to have a kid before Halloween because I have this unexplainable weakness for babies in their costumes! Not that I would've Trick-or-Treated with Lil Arch, but I most definitely would've dressed him/her up. No fear though... I've had a costume picked out for 2 years now and it's a duo thing... so the lil one will probably have to come to work with me.  :)

Hold tight children of the 80s... next year, Lil Arch and I are going as this:

No joke. My child has zero say in their costume come Halloween 2013. This mama/baby team will be frolicking the streets of Holland looking all sorts of 80s awesome!!

But alas, today I'm still just a large, round soon-to-be mama. My craft paints, Hobby Lobby coupons and I reunited shortly after my "A + a" shirt and made this gem specifically for today:

Googling "maternity" Halloween costumes was a little tricky because apparently the only thing pregnant women wanted to do was paint their bellies to look like some other round object. Yeah, that's great and all, but I don't think my co-workers or the children showing up at my door want to see this belly hanging out in all it's natural glory. Hell, I don't even look at my belly shirtless... outies frighten me. So I opted for the orange tshirt and some black fabric paint for my jack-o-lantern costume (no additional padding required.)  ;)

Speaking of children dressed up for Halloween, check out my collection of adorable tots in their costumes (the chicken is definitely a close 2nd choice for next year... maybe 2014):

In baby news, today marks 36 weeks. Yay!! So close! Had my doctors appointment yesterday and wow, was it quite different from the usual listen to the heart beat and measure your belly kind of appointments. Group B strep test and the "one month out" exam... the last shred of decency is gone. However, I'm only 1 cm dilated and baby is still head down showing no signs of coming any time soon. Good thing too... I have an out of town wedding this weekend I was a smidge worried about.

Other than that, I've pretty much gotten use to only a few hours sleep every night for the last week or so. Heartburn is so bad lately I just walk around making horking noises like Zora. Our glider for the nursery FINALLY came in!!!!!!!! Put the wrong damn handle on it, but after 126 days waiting for the damn thing, there was no way I was letting them take it back. So La-Z-Boy is sending me the handle I wanted and I supposedly can pop it on myself. Still waiting for the dresser that was suppose to be here in 10 days.... now going on 3 weeks. It'll probably be yellowed so it'll have to go back. I guarantee there will be a baby before there will be a dresser. Apparently 36 weeks is the limit for that elastic band in my maternity jeans... damn thing rolls down constantly. So sorry anyone is public that sees me hoisting my pants back up.

As much as I'm ready for the long-legged goober to get here, I'm perfectly content on waiting until after at least Thanksgiving for him/her to get here. Go ahead lil one, continue baking.

Stay tuned...

Saturday, October 27, 2012

"Adult" Halloween costumes

So far my Saturday night is consisting of watching the Tigers suck, listening to Clay and Zora snore in surround sound and Facebook stalking people who are out celebrating Halloween. Which leads me to my latest rant... Halloween costumes for "adults." I get it. Halloween is supposedly an excuse for women to dress like whores. Rock on ladies... Dig out your fishnets, colorful bras with see thru shirts and your hooker boots. Whatever.

Hooooowever. To my Facebook friends/those I stalk.... I have a request. If you fall into one of the following categories, go home right now, put on your PJs and call it a night:

1. Posing with your children in your whore attire. Stop it. If you're a mommy and still want to flaunt it, kudos to you. But for the love of god, put your kids to bed before you start hoisting the tatas up to your chin. And why are you posing in pictures with them? Spiderman doesn't want to see pictures years later of him and his mama with her lady bits hanging out.

2. Size matters... a lot. Unless you are a slutty baker for Halloween, there's no need for you to be flaunting the muffin top with your costume. You can still look all sorts of... er, sexy with clothing that fits you... Even if it's not a lot of it.

I'm not judging how old you are if you still wanna go out on Halloween looking all sorts of trash-tastic, but leave the children out of your holiday endeavors and please properly fit in the tiny scraps of fabric you're wearing.

End rant.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

35 weeks

Total weight gain/loss:
After my 32 week beat down by my doctor, who the hell cares. I was at 35 pounds at week 32, but lost a pound at my 34 week appointment. So close enough.

I have finally gotten enough of my to do list done that I wouldn't freak out if the baby came early. Other than the nursery still missing a dresser and a glider, all the baby essentials have been purchased and organized. 

Maternity clothes:
Still living off one pair of jeans, one pair of sweats and 3 pairs of leggings. I'm actually a pretty big fan of my maternity tops (some of which I think I shall wear post-baby), but the cold weather makes dressing myself tricky. Too cold (and windy) now for skirts. After 5:00 and on weekends, my wardrobe consists of Clay's tshirts. That's it. There… you've been warned. If you come visit me, I have a pants optional policy in my home. Beware. 

Stretch marks:
None. Just that weird dark line. 

I keep thinking to myself, "oh I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore so I can get a goods night sleep." Ha, I forget pregnancy sleeplessness is replaced by a different kind of coma. The achy joints, giant belly, jumpy legs, burning feet and frequent potty breaks make for really teeny nights. Maybe I could get a better nights sleep if I slept on the toilet with my feet in a bucket of cold water and rest my head on the bathroom counter. Tempting actually...

Best moment last week:
Found out that the baby is measuring "normal" so currently no scare that I may have to be induced or have a C-section like my doctor threatened a couple weeks ago. 

I have such a wonderful support group! My 80+ year old grandparents came over one day to help me completely deep clean my entire house and my sister helped me get all my Christmas decorations up. I'm getting less and less mobile as the days fly by, so I am beyond grateful for all of their help! Ashley also was kind enough to take a bunch of maternity pictures of me in all my bloated glory! Thanks Stinky!

Lil Arch is really groovin' in there. There have been several nights where I get to lay there and watch my belly move around. I'm actually going to miss that. It's weird sometimes because I'm not sure if it has really sunk in or not and then to see my belly move is such a mind boggling miracle. 

Food cravings:
I ate an entire container of cottage cheese the other day… never done that before. Ranch dressing is still pretty high on my fave food list. Other than that… nothing super crazy coming to mind.

Human baby. Possibly a giraffe.

Labor signs:
Nothing that I've noticed at least. Occasional crampiness, but do I dare call those Braxton Hicks? Dunno.

Belly button in/out:
Eww, it's starting to poke out. Gross gross gross. My belly button ring hole is turning all purplish too to really add to the aesthetic.

%$#@&*!? Langlois and Babies R Us! I want my furniture so I can finish up the nursery! No one buy from Langlois in Muskegon… ever. I even spoke to the sales manager the other day and he gives me the same "there's nothing we can do" BS that the dumb wench I've been working with gives me. 18 weeks and still no chair. I probably could've whittled my own rocking chair by now.  

Also, as someone who is ALWAYS cold… what the hell is up with these hot flashes?! I am warm all the time now! Twenty six years of my life freezing my buns off and now this?! Talk about shock. 

Mood swings:
The 10 solid days of rain and gloominess we just had didn't exactly help with my hormones. There may or may not have been some really weepy days in there. And apparently looking at other people's birthing photos and mellow songs make me cry instantly. That's normal, right? 

What I miss:
Fitting into normal clothes, walking without a waddle, not dreading climbing stairs and there are days… well shit, I just need a drink.

What I'm looking forward to:
Something in me changed over the last week or so in regards to my attitude towards going into labor. Planning on a natural birth has always instilled this fear of being able to handle the pain or not. Lately though, I absolutely cannot wait to go through that experience. Even apart from the obvious outcome of welcoming my first child into the world, I feel almost anxious and excited to be able to push my limits for such an incredible miracle. I'm sure I won't be singing the same tune 3 days into back labor (like my mom went through), but I am currently looking forward to that. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Brownie Batter Pancake recipe


  • 1/4 C. spelt or all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 t. baking powder
  • 1 T. Hershey’s Special Dark cocoa, dutch or regular cocoa 
  • 1 T. plus 1 t. sugar 
  • 1/16 t. salt
  • 1 1/2 T. applesauce or oil 
  • 1 t. pure vanilla extract
  • 5 1/2 T. milk

Mix dry ingredients very well, then add wet. Make pancakes! Yields 6-8 silver dollar pancakes. Feel free to throw in some chocolate chips too. (I'd recommend mini chips though.)

Nutrition facts: 130 calories

Buffalo Chicken Pizza recipe

I sort of combined two different meal ideas on this one. I originally was just going to cook up some crock pot buffalo chicken and eat on sub buns, but then I found a recipe for homemade pizza dough. So behold, buffalo chicken pizza.


  • 3 lb. bag of frozen chicken breast
  • 1 packet ranch dressing seasoning
  • 1 bottle Franks Wings sauce (or any buffalo sauce)

Combine all ingredients into crock pot. Let the chickies swim on low for 6-7 hours. Shred the chicken and let simmer another hour.


  • 1 C. warm water
  • 1 pkg. dry active yeast (.25 oz)
  • 2 3/4 C. flour
  • 1 t. sugar
  • 1 t. salt
  • 2 T. olive oil

Place water in a small bowl and stir in yeast. Let stand for 5 minutes. In a large bowl, whisk together 2 1/2 cups flour, sugar and salt. Make a well in the center and add the yeast mixture and olive oil. Stir until dough comes together and forms a ball. Turn out onto floured surface and knead for 5 minutes, ad as much of the remaining 1/4 cup of flour as needed. Form into disk and place in a bowl that has been lightly oiled with olive oil. Cover and let rise for 2 hours in a warm place. Remove dough and punch down. Roll into desired diameter.

Nutrition facts: 191 calories, 4 grams fat, 5 grams protein, 34 grams carbs and 1 gram fiber

Word to the wise! I thought I could handle the dough without greasing up my hands. Um no. This is the stickiest damn dough I have ever handled in my life. May as well have been rolling Gorilla Glue around in my hands. Grease your hands with olive oil before handling!!! 

Place shredded chicken onto rolled out dough, spoon out some sauce from the crock pot and put in over at 350 degrees. I think mine took about 30 minutes, but keep checking on it until it's done. Throw some mozzarella cheese on top when it's close to down and bake until cheese is melted.

I have yet to find a buffalo chicken pizza recipe that is super saucy and this one was a bit drier than I would have liked. (Any suggestions folks?) I ended up pouring some more buffalo sauce and of course some ranch on it before I ate it. I really liked it otherwise.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The life of a pregnant hunting widow

We're only two weeks into hunting season and husband is currently on his second 4 day weekend "getaway" up North. So since Friday, it has just been me and Miss Zora. Maybe Clayton will be home tomorrow... maybe not. Who knows anymore. From October thru December, he's more of a temporary housemate that stops by once in awhile anyways. 

Friday night, I decided to get a jump start on my Fall cleaning. Spent about 4 hours organizing, scrubbing, wiping down, sanitizing, etc. Got an early start Saturday morning to continue. My wonderful wonderful grandparents came over for almost 8 hours to help me get it all done.... and provided dinner and dessert! I sometimes forget my grandparents are in their 80s. In my mind, they're still in their 60s... always will be. I swear they don't age. Their stamina and health are pretty incredible. I wouldn't have been able to get all that work done without them... I'm so grateful!

Miss Zora was a huge help changing the bed

Grandpa is the best carpet cleaner dude ever! No more puppy smell!

Grandma is a machine. This 80-something year old woman outworked my pregnant ass.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. Sunday was my sister-in-law's bridal shower in Muskegon. Had a fun time seeing everyone and celebrating. It has been raining pretty much non stop for the last four days. Miss Zora hates rainy days... poor pup has been cooped up in the house forever. She does, however, love stealing Clay's side of the bed when he's gone. She's such a great spooner!

My sisters-in-law.

Me and the bride-to-be!

Zora... the bed hog.

Taking over my spot once again. Yet, adorable.

Some of the not so fantastic moments of my weekend:
  • The drywall/painted wall safe double sided tape took off the first layer of drywall in two places on the main wall of my living room when I removed part of my collage
  • The nasty wind ripped off my windshield wiper and dropped something on my car causing my windshield to crack in two places
  • Pup ripped the plastic carrying handle off her crate and either ate it or hid it
  • Still dealing with incompetent, rude sales people at Langlois furniture regarding my glider

F you tape. Burn in hell.

Grr. However, I did get to have a nice long Skype date with Miss Moose and Emmalyn last night and I got my hospital bags 99% packed tonight! Woot! I have my 34 week appointment tomorrow so hopefully baby isn't measuring too big. I feel a little unprepared right now and would love Lil Arch to just stay put until after Thanksgiving. My parents and grandparents are going to be out of the state until mid-November and we don't need any unnecessary rushing back home. 

Anyways, welp, sleep time. More baby updates tomorrow!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

True Life: I'm a pregnant fatty

My 32-week OB appointment was a sad one today. No, baby is fine... actually measuring at 34 weeks and is finally positioned with its head down. My doctor gave me the "you're a fatty and not in a good way" lecture. Yes, I know I make it sound like I go home and binge on a bag of Oreos on a nightly basis, but in actuality, it's not like that at all. I've eaten more fruit and veggies during my pregnancy than I ever have before, increased my protein intake, cut back (most of the time) on my sweets, etc. Plus being someone who has always had to watch her weight, I'm already drinking the skim milks, buying the low- and non-fat whatever, opting for chicken and venison over the red meats, very rarely eating out... I'm not sure where I'm going wrong.

So talk about feeling like a failure after my fatty conversation with the OB. My stomach is growling and I'm afraid to approach the refrigerator to get dinner going. I mean, really, what the hell am I suppose to eat?! Yes, I realize maintaining a healthy pregnancy weight is important for the baby... but so is making sure I get in my folic acids, protein, etc. Where do you draw the line? And I'm honestly a little shocked that I've gained the weight I have. Other than my belly, I don't feel like the rest of me looks too different. Go ahead and tell me I'm full of shit I guess... my OB didn't seem to sugar coat it.

I want to know too, how to get in a decent workout when I can't seem to walk more than 10 minutes without having to pee. I think I need a catheter... or Depends... or maybe just wet myself because that's about how awesome I feel right now. It doesn't help that my dog is the world's worse walker ever. Zora, watching you stop and sniff EVERYTHING isn't doing much for me or my waistline.

Alright fellow moms and moms-to-be... what are some meal ideas or resources I can refer to? I need mainly dinner ideas that are low-fat/low-calorie but still packing the pregnancy essentials... but I'm a picky eater, so beware. Gah.  :(

Sad sad day for this fatty...

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