So far my Saturday night is consisting of watching the Tigers suck, listening to Clay and Zora snore in surround sound and Facebook stalking people who are out celebrating Halloween. Which leads me to my latest rant... Halloween costumes for "adults." I get it. Halloween is supposedly an excuse for women to dress like whores. Rock on ladies... Dig out your fishnets, colorful bras with see thru shirts and your hooker boots. Whatever.
Hooooowever. To my Facebook friends/those I stalk.... I have a request. If you fall into one of the following categories, go home right now, put on your PJs and call it a night:
1. Posing with your children in your whore attire. Stop it. If you're a mommy and still want to flaunt it, kudos to you. But for the love of god, put your kids to bed before you start hoisting the tatas up to your chin. And why are you posing in pictures with them? Spiderman doesn't want to see pictures years later of him and his mama with her lady bits hanging out.
2. Size matters... a lot. Unless you are a slutty baker for Halloween, there's no need for you to be flaunting the muffin top with your costume. You can still look all sorts of... er, sexy with clothing that fits you... Even if it's not a lot of it.
I'm not judging how old you are if you still wanna go out on Halloween looking all sorts of trash-tastic, but leave the children out of your holiday endeavors and please properly fit in the tiny scraps of fabric you're wearing.